Giving up..

My five year old has just moved up a swimming group, this is to be celebrated as her swimming is progressing really well. Little Miss was the strongest swimmer in her previous group, confident and happy.

I sew the new badge to her kit towel, the certificate is with the others, all is good.

Two weeks into the new group she doesn't want to do it anymore! 

Little Miss is now the weakest in her group, it is a struggle, there is a much greater effort needed, expectation has changed, the demand is great. Give up..

No! This is where I am very mean as a Mother because I will not let her stop, we have been here with each group change, it is difficult, there has to be a learning period that is a struggle before it becomes second nature, if all things were easy then how would we feel the achievement?

I had a run today that was a little slower than I would have liked, I was tired, I could have passed but I still went and after was glad, a run is better than no run!

Training for an event always throws up some doubt, why am I doing this? I am tired and want a rest day, I am fed up with horrid weather, I don't have the time etc etc If we did not have these hurdles then the end result of completing the event wouldn't seem so satisfying. Training the physical is one part, training the mental is quite another. 

It is always easier not to. We can talk ourselves out of anything, talking ourselves into is a mountain at times. 

If all the training has been ticked off then on a race day the mind is what gets the job done. The 'I can' mentality crosses the line.

I spent years starting things and not finishing them until I completed my first Marathon, it had a profound effect on me, I realised I really could motivate myself, alone, just me, and achieve. I honestly felt I could do anything I set my mind to, that race and all the training was so epic, I had never done anything like that before and it changed my life. 

I was not 'sporty' at school, I forgot kit, couldn't be bothered, was un-enthusiastic, grumpy and generally a pain of a student. I wish someone had bothered with me, pushed me harder, encouraged me to find the activity that fitted. I now know that could have been running or swimming, it would have changed my adolescents for the better.

We don't have to be 'sporty' but it is good to have a go...keep trying...practice...persevere.

I will keep encouraging my 5 year old, after all she is in a group with 7 and 8 year olds, she is doing great and needs to be reminded of that, there is no hurry, she will be glad she persevered and she does love swimming. Her achievement will be all the greater when she feels herself improve as I know she will, hopefully there will be some pride and her version of character building. When difficult tasks come her way she may just stop and think, I can.

The four stages of competence...Unconscious incompetence, there is no understanding of how to do something and no idea of the deficit or what the point is. Recognising the value and owning the incompetence means moving onto Conscious incompetence, recognition of not knowing and the value of knowing, the strength of the desire to learn will determine how long this stage lasts before Conscious competence the learning has taken place but concentrated thought has to be applied to the new skill, lots of practice then progresses to Unconscious competence, the skill has become second nature! 

Come on think back, driving! So obvious, do you remember how hard that was to learn? I certainly think that sitting beside each of my 17 years olds as they were learning was one of the toughest and most frightening roles I have ever had as a parent!  Now I always want either of them to drive..

The clocks change in two weeks, the days are getting longer, the weather warmer, time to motivate, get 'it' done, just generally decide "I can" and feel good about whatever that might be. 

As far as the 5 year old is concerned...after all my coaxing, encouragement, support, praise and organising if there are still some reservations then...there is always bribery...